actions speak louder than words.

after retyping this post 50 million times,
i've come to the conclusion that this is something i am not ready to continue my life like this.
im excited for newer things and i dont need to dread on my past or present.
with that being said, i really hope i get myself to understand my own words.

semi tonight. excited? not so much.

ON A BETTER NOTE, (kind of)
i got ANOTHER project from PEEL, from the HR department. ah.
i start work JULY 7th... full time. im not sure if thats good or not. i gave myself a week off.

my crazy life

finally.. some time to just relax....
the design exchange is driving me insane. crazy hours in to a single project. ah.

wednesday - skills after school, meeting with Dittrich, phil comes home, finish t-shirt design Ontario Vocal Jazz
thursday - Ontario Vocal Jazz design due, start impACT logo + passport design for Peel
friday - semi formal
saturday - finish impACT logo+passport (morning), finish dress #2 for ib art (afternoon), research for skills
sunday - regional skills competition at Fletcher's Meadow, sketchbook assignment #4, finish ib dress #2


there's so much i want to say.. but forget it.
it makes no difference anyways.......

weekend? what weekend?

lucky me. i spent my WHOLE weekend with miss. cherie. @ secondcup. LOL
saturday: 2:30-10pm sunday: 3-8pm . OMG. kill me now. we are well on our way i guess.
75% done! it's a different kind of project. i like it though. GO TEAM :) *high five CHER :)

theres not much to write about since i had no weekend. nothing happend!
but i just finished my media arts sketchbook assignment. i did package design.
for "spicy tomato soup" LOL so cheeeeeesy!

ok. super tired.
new week. ahh.

oh so tired

OKAYYYYYY ya'll. i have lots to update on.
RYERSON. i hate you like SHIT. ok. this school is absolutely ridiculous. as of now, i am not admitted in to the program and i have to reapply although i have already been offered an admissions WITH the letter and all. yup. i had to reapply and am not guaranteed an acceptance during the next wave of acceptances. chances are high that i will get in again, but not guaranteed. im not sure how any of this is my fault, but i must suffer. im done with this school. i've really had enough.

OCAD. i had my interview today and it was ok. just "ok" i dont know. it was all nice comments n stuff but i didnt feel any good vibes. they were being fair with everyone i guess. but after going today, i realized the school isn't for me. it's too "artsy" and i HATE that. i hate art... i hate art nerds who can draw crazy shit and paint fregggin things that look like real pictures.... cause i cant. ahahah, waiting for TWO and a half fucking hours was not coool. i was pissed and that showed through my performance during my interview. w/e. who the shit gives students an interview time and makes them wait 2 1/2 hours???? OCAD does. they also make boyfriends wait too!!! W T F. i checked my cell every 3 minutes. stomped the floor super hard. swore out loud. stared at the profs hoping i would be next. whispered and laughed with other students because we were all nervous and pissed. wljrelkrjelwrew

YORK: i love the design environment. i love the benefits of small class sizes, amazing computers, gorgeous building, great reputation, wicked program and all. yup. YORK/SHERIDAN it is. no more university worries. im DONE with applications, interviews and the yucky stuff.

--------------- [ yesterday ]



did ya'll see the lunar eclipse yesterday? beautiful huh? take a look at the pics above. the moon was half red, not so clear in the photo though. ALSO, thats the view from my house of DT toronto. i just had to include it :)


ok i have a lot more to post but im SO exhausted. LATERRRRRR

ohhh dear..

i hate ryerson. im not even going to start about what happened this time.
but i at least got my offer of admissions letter in the mail today... with ANOTHER brochure...
a different one this time... but it looks thick and similar...

OK. my life is getting a little out of control. my school life that is.
i have sO much shit to do but i dont know why im not doing it.
ok, so lets list these things for the benefit of I, because i need it...
- OCAD interview [thursday]
- DX due... idk [saturday, sunday]
- skills canada. competition is in like... 2 weeks [...]
- Dragonboat t-shirt design [before march break]
- IBSL t-shirt design [after march break]
- media arts sketchbook assignments [every monday]
- ib art / 3 dresses by end of march [end of march]
- get all ib art materials [?????]
- Ontario Vocal Jazz brochure design [dont know when it's due but its soon]
- Phil&Sherly wedding invitation [friday]
- im sure im missing more but i hope it would all end somewhere around there ...

i actually spent a good chunk of my day doing hmwk.


i dont even know what else to say. good night and good bye. im so sleepy :(

vday & more

oh the over-rated valentines day. it's just bittersweet. just like the dark chocolate covered strawberries & apple slices my brother got my mom & i. isnt that sweet???!!!! omg. i come home with a beautiful box in the fridge with a little sticky note. he spend his day w/ his gf for vday. what a gentleman, thinking of the other women in his life! haha so i posted picture for ya'll to see....



to silviu: happy valentines day stinky. even though i hate you like no tmw, i love you too. it sucks that we cant see each other although its good because i dont have to smell you (jk!!!)... but i get to see u sooon..... so yea. <3<3<3 i hope u like my blog. i know u like reading it.. ahahhaahah *muah XOXO cya soonnnn

okay, enough about love day. today was productive. kind of. i got my dress cut up. i can start sewing soon. AND i finished my 2 week media arts assignment in ONE night. thats not a very good start at all but im done done done! i will post the design up once everything is finalized tmw. yup yup :)

im in a state of.... shock? accepted to YORK/SHERIDAN !!!!!!! :D
it's hard to believe... the admission came too easy... but my hard work has paid off..
i've been waiting to get in this school for 2 years... and im finally at that point...
it all happened too wonderfully.. i would like to believe everything pays off with hard work...
cause i've definitely worked hard for this.... akjhrjkwehrkjew :) i dont know what else to say.
thanks ya'll for supporting me... love & respect <3


GOODNIGHT <3

growth & changes.

ok i just wrote a long ass post but deleted it because i know it's too deep for some of u to read about me. hahahah
you might think im some sort of crazy bitch or something, although i am.... soo....

i know ya'll want to know what it's about.. it was about changes, not caring and living life.
i could write a book about my life, it wouldn't be a great book but it would be fun.. to read about the shit
i did, will do, the things i deal with, the people i know, the lifestyle i live, the attitude have, the goals i've reached and WILL reach, my perspective on life, my growth and changes.... you know. all the cool things.... :)


WHATEVER.
i want something good in my life. i need it. i think i deserve it after all of this...
okay, i have wonderful things but i want new things..... better things

wish me luck tmw !!!!!!!!
im so excited

accepted.

it's about time. accepted in ONE day. umm cool?

my interview is in 2 days and im so not ready. i have photos to take, images to change, resumes to fix, templates to change. oh dear. and boy do i feel so sick. mehh....

whats with all of this late night stuff? it's nice. but there's a fine line when it becomes a little too much. but it's really nice that someone cares for me... at least.

i need some fresh air. a fresh start. bleh =/


ya'll watch out for the BEAUTIFUL "semi-formal tickets" banner, it's made by professionals, aka Sandra Goh & Julie Do. yea, we rhyme. we're that awesome... lol

time to bust the news to the parents. later.

times

it's been about 913 hours ...
how much longer am i suppose to wait?

it's all too much

OKAY. i HATE ryerson and i am considering just DROPPING ryerson as one of my choices because this school is a PAIN.
i originally applied to the fine arts program. OKAY.
i changed to graphic communications thinking it was cool and after some research, i decided it wasnt what i wanted.
i applied back to fine arts after realizing i had less than a week to put their portfolio package together, i changed my program BACK to graphic communications in which soon after, they sent me a letter notifying me they have extended the portfolio thingy till 2 weeks later. STUPID. so, i just left it at graphic communications since i dont want to go anyways and it doesnt require a portfolio.
so my issue is, on my ryerson account, it said i cancelled fine arts AND graphic communications and that i'm currently not under review for ANY of their programs when ouac says i've applied for graphic communications. after trying to navigate their stupid website and hard-to-understand pamphlets and brochure overloads, i am fed up. akjhrjkwhrjkewr
but i'm going to call the school to clarify my choices anyways.... because i'm a good student like that.

teacher vs. student drama = ridiculous. you would assume that a teacher of higher rank, would be a professional, understanding and intellectual figure to the student body but no. i am overwhelmingly upset and disappointed with a selected few of the gfss staff. it's disappointing that you take matters in your own hands to apologize for doing nothing wrong expecting an apology that won't happen. enough said.

there is enough personal shit i have to deal with. i love ya'll. sandra, you're wonderful :) i know you're reading this... :P hahah!!!!

i have not had a pleasing start to second semester.
i have a full weekend in my hands.


HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEARS TO ALL YA'LL ASIAN OUT THERE.
chuc mung nam moi :)

quiz #1

1. real name – Julie
2. like it – no
3. i took out this one cause i dont want to answer it
4. zodiac sign - cancer
5. male or female – female
6. elementary – huntington ridge
7. middle – fairwind sps
8. high – glenforest
9. college – TBD
10. hair color – brown
12. hair length – long
13. current worry – uni.
14. race – white. kidding. chinese/viet
15. are you a health freak – not at all
16. height – 5'1
17. do you have a crush on someone - no
18. do you like yourself – yes
19. piercings – yes
20. tattoos - no
21. righty or lefty – righty

FIRSTS-
22. first surgery – n/a
23. first piercings – dont remember
24. first best friend – tough one
25. first award – LOL i got some pretty gay ones. i dont remember
26. first sport – walking
27. first pet – dog
28. first vacation – virginia
29. first teacher – Ms. Hunter :)
30. first crush – Christopher. he's black

THIS OR THAT-
31. orange or apple juice – apple
32. rock or rap – rock
33. country or screamo – country
34. nsync or backsteet boys – backstreet boys
35. britney spears or christina aguilera – christina a
36. night or day – night
40. kiss or hug – hug
41. iguana or turtle – none
43. fall or spring – spring
44. Limewire or iTunes – limewire
46. soccer or baseball – baseball

CURRENTLY
50. drinking – nothing
51. im about to – sleeping
53. singing – nothing
54. typing – t-h-i-s

FUTURE
55. want kids - yes
56. when – early thirties
57. want to get married - yes
58. when – 28+
59. where do you want to live – California
60. how many kids do you want – 2
61. any name on the mind – no
62. what did you want to be when you were little – probably a teacher at first
63. what do you think you'll really be doing – designer
64. mellow future or wild – mellow
66. something you would never try - idk
67. when do you wanna die – 85

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX-
68. lips or eyes – eyes
69. hugging or kissing – hugging
70. shorter or taller – taller
71. tan skinned or light – tanned
72. romantic or spontaneous – im not the romantic type, but it's been lacking so badly in my life that i choose romantic although, i like spontaneous boys too ;) haaaha.
73. dark or light hair – dark
74. muscular or normal – no matters
75. hook-up or relationship – relationships are hard, hook-ups are fun. but i like seriousness, so relationships it is
76. similar to you or different – thats hard

HAVE YOU EVER-
78. kissed a stranger – no
79. drank bubbles – no
80. broken a bone – no
81. climbed up a tree – yes
82. broken someones heart – not intentionally
83. turned someone down – yes
84. had your heart broken – yes
85. liked a friend as more than a friend – yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN-
86. yourself - yes
87. miracles - no
88. love at first sight – no
89. santa claus – no
90. kiss on first date – i dont believe in it but if it happens...
91. angels – no. kind of. idk

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY-
92. is there one or more people you want to be with right now – no
93. who is it –
94. like someone – no

LASTS-
95. text message – someone
96. received call – someone else
97. call made – PDSB - i wanted to know if school was out! haha
98. facebook message – keita
99. missed call -unknown
100. last hungout with? – cherie

i can't believe ...

mission accomplished! i ordered my semi-dress. it's cute. it's BLACK, surprised? no. but there are sequences!!! i've never had those before.... super cuteeeee. i would post the pictures but, no lol

today was an interesting day. it's funny now that i think of it.

late-start tmw. THANK GOD. time to sleep in because i freggin need it
i need to stop sleeping at 2-3 in the morning. shit
if i stay up past 1, its so hard to sleep after that.

you are ANNNNNNOYINGGG.
akewkehqw. it's hard to talk to you and not picture you . ha ha ha ..


peaceOUT <3

....

i've never felt so uncared for in my life....
the words i say mean nothing. and i simply dont understand why....
mistakes are made but it shouldn't change who you are regardless of how you say u feel...
how am i dealing with this everyday or trying to...
the hardest part is sitting there thinking to your self what is going to happen next...
what am i going to have to hear or take next...
all i want is reassurance and care....because i havent felt it in so long....
i don't overreact just so i enjoy the pain i have to face from it
i'm emotionally torn apart... so next time, don't tell me im overdoing it.
having to hide my tears is the worst part because you can't take it
having to keep my feelings inside sucks when you don't appreciate it
having to keep my comments to myself because you don't want to hear it
having to change who i am because you can't stand it
what am i suppose to do now that i've fallen for someone who has fallen out of his place?
you'll never understand or see what's wrong until you feel it
and i, feel it. regardless of intentions or not, you are torturing me in a way i've never felt before..


i've lost you ....
& you've gone too far to get a hold of ...


i'm doing what my horoscope is telling me to do & praying for the best ...
but my prayers have never been heard ...

semester TWO

just before starting some early research for media arts, i'm deciding to post cause i won't later and i'm a retard like that cause i know people like YOU like to read my stuff... KIDDING

SEMESTER two. wooho. lets not discuss sem. one and anything that has to do with it. its over, it's done! yea, i have lots of design courses this semester so i can finally have some courses i love. some motivation to try hard to make up for sem. one :S yup. need to drop BOH4M. ohemgee. b o r i n g

okokok, ya'll know what i hate??? when universities send you HUGE packages that are like "express" mail in like super water-proof packages with thick and heavy ISH and you open it and its a waste of paper with brochures, books, papers and notes with shit you already have and NOTHING but an acceptance letter!!! WHY? why? it kills me. and you know what school does that the most? RYERSON. WTFLIP. i have received the same brochure THREE times, i already had it to begin with =/ im freaking.

NINE MORE DAYS !!!!!!! :)

my weekend plans:
- change, fix, YORKU/SHERIDAN + OCAD portfolio
- do my OCAD essay thingy
- attempt to finish my brothers wedding invitation design
- buy fabrics and STUFF for my dresses

anywho, i'm going to have some LATE dinner. i had a nap BECAUSE i slept at THREE yesterday. stupid loser.....actually, thats my fault! ahahah and research on my first media arts project i'm excited to do!
i'll post all my designs on here once i finish them. YAY.....
okay ya'll, have a superb day. NO MORE CRYING BECAUSE OF MARKS K?
"oh i'm gonna fail..." fail first, and then say that. :P hehe!

50 things that girls wish guys knew

i only selected a few...

7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.

8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.

17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.

20. Do not start with us. You will not win... not kidding .. we ALWAYS win

22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.

34. Sometimes even when you think we hate you, we don't, we just want you to apologize so we can be allowed to love you again

36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"

44. Silent treatment + shoulder shrugs + tears + yelling + nasty looks = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!

48. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.

49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you...eventually we always catch you.

ugh ...

so it's ANOTHER day. i think i'll be updating this so frequently for the first month.. and not post at all afterwards. that's what happend with my xanga. anywho, i woke up to a not-so-great morning. why? oh, you can only guess why. honestly, i've learned not to care. that's it. you can't care for something not worth caring for... i don't know. it's so disappointing. and that's how i've been feeling for the last while. the only thing that will piece things back together is glue (super glue to be exact) and trust me, it won't work.

i want to explore things on my own. i want to learn things on my own. it makes no difference. i've technically been on my own...most of this time. & it's okay.

i'm so sick oh hoping and praying for change. but maybe.... ah, forget it.

a day full of ... birthdays !

my mom is turning old, justin is turning four and adam is turning eight-teen.

three birthdays in a day. prettyyy cool. so to celebrate my moms birthday, we decided we would go out for some sushi, well she wanted to. so we went to Prince Steakhouse. Iron Chef was fully booked. it was a nice experience. i've never had tapanyaki. i actually like Prince Sushi better in terms of the teriyaki rice dishes. i'm just saying that because Prince Sushi has a prettier interior! haha j/k. but yea, i also tried friend ice-cream! it's not that good .. the batter is just like tempura and the ice cream is like crystalized cream. but overall, it was nice.

*click photo* | vikki & the family, minus Phil



*click photo* | deep friend ice-cream w/ a mango&greentea sauce

;; an update, on my life of course. that's why ya'll are here?

okay, it's been a HECTIC last ... three weeks? culminating, studying, exams, meetings and you know, pure craziness.

semester one is COMPLETE. it's quite upsetting actually. there is only one semester left. i wish i could turn back time to like, grade two. i missing doing crafts in class, like really. making Valentine's Day lunch bag basket things that you tape to your desk hoping you'd get tonnes of v-day cards, making mothers&fathers day gifts, xmas decor... idk. so much junk but it was fun. i don't know, time flies by too quickly. i get lost in time, i really do. i lose track of the date, everyday. ask me what the date is, and i'll be a week behind.

university updates: OMG. i'm freaking out. being the loser i am, i searched up york/sheridan groups today for the 2011 students. they were discussing their new school year and i'm FREAKED OUT. it'll suck to start at at bottom. it's my biggest fear. but yea, i realized today that my YORK interview (that i SCORED!!) is in less than two weeks. 02/13/08 at 1:30pm. i basically have to re-do some part of my portfolio. take things out, put things in, reprint, photoshop my drawings (hahah!) it's crazy. but i've been waiting for this interview since, a long time (i wanted to say forever but it's a lie). i have my OCAD interview on 02/21/08 at 12:45pm. excited, excited! i just like going downtown. not that i want to go to the school although it is my second choice. i love the artsy environment. yupyup. oh yea, i HATE ryerson. no offence to any of you who applied there or want to go there.

oh yea, back to the cooler side of my life (other than school). wait, what cooler side? i have no life. im typing this! ahahahah.
enough writing. enough reading. enough snooping! :P



it's nice to use some HTML again. it reminds me of AsianAvenue days. oh boy, those WERE the days.
okay, after reminding myself of the [img src=" "] codes and stuff, i think it's time for bed.

first BLOG post

okay, so everyone has xanga or some sort of "blog," and i want to be just as cool and just like everyone else because i'm a follower, and get one too! but i got a blogspot, just to be different. i dont know if this is called blogspot or "blogger" but i typed in blogspot and got this. this is a "blog" for me to cry out my emotions to (not really). i will not discuss names or specific people. not that i'll be writing anything particularly absurd, mean, insulting or anything like that. of course not. anywho, it's time to stir up my design juices and design this blog in to some cheesy masterpiece... ok, no! but please, enjoy. oh yea, i'm going to be posting up some photos i take here and there. i know ya'll love those! peaceOUT. <3

by the way, my blog is best viewed with an Apple computer. HAHA. just kidding (no i'm not)
recommended: a pretty monitor with a super hi-res screen. don't tell me my blog is ugly, it's your monitor!